


Parting

by colorskun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apocalypse, Breaking Up & Making Up, End of the World, Everybody Dies, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Is it still a happy ending if everyone dies?, M/M, Post-Break Up, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:09:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27006352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colorskun/pseuds/colorskun
Summary: "So before this asteroid hits the earth in about a day, let me tell you my last words." — Onewe, Parting.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Kudos: 29





	Parting

It’s a pity, Renjun thinks, that they waited till the end of the word to reunite.

He always assumed they had more time. 

Which is stupid maybe, Jaemin and he had broken up months ago at this point, Jaemin had even had another relationship inbetween but it had fizzled quickly as far as Renjun has gathered from friends. He really had tried his best to not feel pleased with that notion, Jaemin deserved happiness, Renjun also just really had wanted to be that happiness.

But no matter how much it had hurt knowing Jaemin was with someone else, a small, foolish part of Renjun had always clung on the thought Jaemin would return.

And return he had. But they didn’t have any time left. 

What a cruel twist of faith that was. 

To have Jaemin sitting on his dorm room floor, in the exact spot they had occupied so many times. Even after Jaemin had left him, Renjun sometimes still could feel his presence lingering in that exact spot. To have him right there and to know the moment was fleeting, slipping through his fingers, every second passing one he would never get back, it was maddening.

The only thought that was keeping Renjun sane was that they were at least his last moments, that if everything had to end, he at least got to be with Jaemin. Beautiful, vulnerable Jaemin that was sitting right across from him, within arms reach, so much closer than he had been for a long time with time threatening to run out, not a second to waste. So why Renjun still holding back? 

Oh right. 

Because Jaemin had left. 

Which meant the ball was in his court now, it was Jaemin who had up and left, throwing two years of dating into the wind and leaving Renjun wondering where they’d gone wrong because he truly hadn’t known. 

Jaemin had cut him out of his life, which meant it was up to Jaemin to invite him back in again.

“Injun-” Jaemin starts, immediately cut off by a sharp, shaky inhale, hands wrapped so tightly around his mug of tea that his knuckles turned white. Renjun can smell the mint tea where he’s sitting, he never liked it much but Jaemin loved it so he always made sure to have a box of it laying around his dorm room. It’d been catching dust ever since Jaemin had left, Renjun didn’t want to waste it by tossing it and maybe he had liked torturing himself with a reminder of simpler, better times.

He might not have liked the tea much, but he had always liked the taste of it on Jaemin’s lips. 

“Jun, I’m sorry- for everything-” Jaemin admits with a trembling voice. He puts the mug aside, reaching out to Renjun with trembling hands, a silent plea to have him close, to hold him and not let go. “I don’t get to ask this of you but if I don’t say it now I never will, so please, I need you, stay with me.”

A part of Renjun reminds him he should probably be angry. That Jaemin got to walk out and leave him with the pieces only to return now because he needs him.

What about when Renjun needed him? Where was Jaemin then? 

But the thing is, Renjun doesn’t want to be angry. Because he never stopped needing Jaemin. Right now, he still needs Jaemin. Just as much as Jaemin needs him.

And the seconds, they’re still ticking, slipping away, every moment he waits is one he won’t ever get back, is one he won’t spend holding Jaemin.

So he stops wasting time, letting himself fall in Jaemin’s arms instead, his ex-boyfriend’s arms immediately wrapping around his waist, draped over his side, just below his ribcage where they always rested and the sheer familiarity of Jaemin’s touch on his skin makes him melt in his arms.

It’s a reminder of just how well they knew each other, still know each other. Jaemin knows him better than anyone, knows what it takes to make him vulnerable. Maybe that was why being left without any warning had hurt so much, because Renjun always assumed he knew Jaemin as well as Jaemin knows him. 

He buries his face in the crook of Jaemin’s neck and just breathes him in. And, for a moment, everything feels a little bit okay. The constant worries, the fears, they fade out and all Renjun can think about is Jaemin, here, in his arms, for him to have. 

Even if this moment is fleeting, even if after this it’s all over, Renjun gets to have this, he gets to have Jaemin.

And that’s what it takes to set off the waterworks, the first sob torn from his throat unexpectedly and Renjun buries his faced deeper into the crook of Jaemin’s neck, clinging onto him tighter like it will ease the pain.

(It does). 

It always has.

Renjun remembers this feeling well, Friday afternoon’s when Jaemin picked him up from class and the first thing Renjun would do was throw himself in Jaemin’s arms and just breathe him in. Nothing had ever quite succeeded to calm him, to comfort him just like that. Just feeling Jaemin, breathing him in until he overtook his senses. 

The crook of Jaemin’s neck had always been his safe place and for the first time in months, Renjun is reminded of just how lonely he has felt without it.

“I’m so scared Jaem. I- I thought I was going to die alone.” he admits in a small voice.

It had certainly looked like that would be the case. Renjun had spoken to his parents of course, right after the news had come out that there was no doubt the meteor would hit and that when it would, it would surely wipe out all life on earth, no chance of survival. It had been a goodbye, Renjun had known that, which was probably why his parents couldn’t stop crying the entire phonecall. But there was no time to get back all the way from Korea to China, not with a mere hour or two left to live and the world in complete chaos.

It was the first time Renjun had wondered if he had made the wrong decision coming to Korea for his studies. Maybe he should just never have left his hometown.

As much as he wanted to be with his parents, Renjun hadn’t wanted to spend his last moments over the phone. If there was anything worse than dying alone, it was dying while not quite with people, hearing the panic in his mother’s voice, and not be able to hold her. 

So Renjun had hung up with the knowledge those were his final goodbye’s, the last time he’d ever spoken his parents and probably the last time he’d spoken to anyone. Nothing to do but to wait and think about all his regrets, about everything he should have done differently.

Until suddenly, Jaemin had been knocking at his door.

“You’re not, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.” Jaemin promises him, his voice trembling and as Renjun lifts his face from the crook of the younger’s neck, he sees the streaks of silent tears down Jaemin’s face as well. 

For months, Renjun had longed to hear these exact words. Never had he imagined their context to be such a sad one.

Jaemin was here for him, but he wasn’t his to keep. Soon this would all be over. 

How insignificant human existence was.

“Thank you.” Renjun sobs out dryly, clinging onto Jaemin as tightly as possible, trying to ingrain as much of this moment in his memory as he can.

It doesn’t really matter, when the world ends, his memories will be gone too.

Jaemin will be gone.

Somehow that hurts the worst. Which is stupid, absolutely ridiculous. Everything will be gone, the whole world as they know it, everything and everyone Renjun has loved or cared about in the last twenty years, he will be gone, but somehow the notion of Jaemin fading from existence is by far the worst. 

It makes Renjun feel guilty, obsessive. 

Maybe that was one of the reasons Jaemin had left, he finds himself wondering. Maybe, Renjun had suffocated him, clung onto him so tightly he had become nothing but a burden. Maybe, Jaemin had been drowning in the constant outpour of love from Renjun’s side.

Renjun had always known himself to be needy.

But at the same time, Jaemin had never seemed to mind. He had always just given Renjun one of those sharp, smart smiles as he pulled him closer for another kiss somewhere in some crowded, public place. He had always intertwined their fingers whenever Renjun reached for his hand yet again. He had always returned the exclamations of love and affection with the same fond tenderness. 

Until one day he didn’t anymore. Like all of a sudden Renjun’s touch burned his skin rather than warmed it. All the love Jaemin had always given so freely and so fondly felt heavy all of a sudden like it was a struggle to speak them out. And Renjun hadn’t been worth that struggle, had become nothing but a burden, an obligation Jaemin had no longer wanted to tend to.

And then Jaemin had been gone.

Maybe Renjun never quite blamed Jaemin for that, he would have left himself too if he could. But he couldn’t, he was stuck with himself, he didn’t get to choose to just walk away.

“You have no idea how much I regretted leaving.” Jaemin admits with a hiccup and his voice sounds so vulnerable, so earnest, that Renjun can’t even question that statement. The rational part of him reminds him that he should, Jaemin was the one that left, without Renjun ever even really understanding why. The door had always been open for Jaemin to come back, Renjun hadn’t told him that but he must have known right? Sure, they hadn’t spoken since their break up but that had been because Jaemin had cut him off completely. Renjun had considered it a few times, mainly when he was drunk, to reach out to Jaemin and to ask him why he had left, where they had gone wrong. 

But Renjun hadn’t dared to do that. Mainly because he knew that such a conversation would inevitably end in him apologizing profusely for whatever it was he had done to make Jaemin leave (even if he didn’t really know what that was) and begging him to please come back.

Still, Renjun could hear just how sorry his ex-boyfriend is and just that fact leaves no doubt on his mind that Jaemin is being sincere. 

Na Jaemin was a lot of things, he had hurt Renjun in a lot of ways since their break-up, but he had never been a liar.

“It’s okay-” Renjun starts only for Jaemin to immediately cut him off with a violent shake of his head.

“No, it’s not. I hurt you, badly, and it was never your fault. I just… got lost and instead of asking for help, I took that out on you. That wasn’t fair of me, that will never be fair.” 

Something shatters in Renjun, the last thing that’s been holding him back from completely giving in to Jaemin sitting right in front of him. There is so much old hurt between them, so much that Renjun still doesn’t understand and probably never will but at least Jaemin has acknowledged that pain, regardless of his own attempt to brush it off. It’s all Renjun needs to let go of the lingering resentment, of his pride holding him back to not be vulnerable in front of Jaemin.

“I love you.” Renjun responds quietly, throwing all inhibitions he has towards saying it first in the wind. “I don’t care if that makes me look desperate or if should have waited for you to say it first. Because the truth is Jaemin, I love you, I’ve never stopped and I don’t think I ever will. I don’t want to hold that back, not now, not when it’s my last chance to say it.”

“I love you too Renjun.” Jaemin breathes out softly, resting their foreheads together and his arms slipping down around the smaller’s middle to pull him even closer into his own body. “I love how unapologetic and brave you are with showing your love, even now, even with me, after all I’ve done. It makes me want to be braver too, to be strong like you deserve instead of hiding away behind my pride.” the tip of his nose gently brushes past Renjun’s. “So thank you, for being strong in my place for so long, and for giving me strength now. You no longer have to bear the burden all by yourself, I promise.”

Renjun smiles weakly through his tears. “I always told you this was forever kinda thing no? Even if you hadn’t come back I would always have loved you, undoubtedly, unconditionally.” his voice is worn down, quiet, but with their close proximity, they don’t need much more.

It’s a nice reminder that they have never needed much more than each other, nothing else.

“Till we both turn to dust yeah?” Jaemin breathes out and truly, that statement should be sadder than it is in their current predicament, on the brink of the world crashing down around them but Renjun finds unexpected comfort in the words. It’s something they always told each other back when they were dating, late at night, wrapped up in each other, exchanging the promise to not even let the universe tear them apart. 

If this wasn’t the most fitting moment to remind themselves of the promise, Renjun didn’t know what was. 

“Till we both turn to dust and then some.” Renjun responds softly, the words rolling off his tongue with ease. After all, he’s said them so many times before. He feels lighter, knowing he got to say them one last time.

And maybe, a foolish part of him clings onto the hope that they’ll fulfill that promise to each other. That somehow, someway, whatever transcends their physical existence will remain together. 

Renjun had never believed in the concept of soulmates until he had met Jaemin. 

Now, he just hopes that whatever part of them will remain in this universe will do so together, even when the earth meets his demise.

Which is any moment now.

Time is running out, Renjun doesn’t know how he’s so sure of it, neither of them have bothered to look at the news the entire time they’ve spent together, they’d both agreed they didn’t want to count down their last moments, it would come and take them whenever it wanted, no warnings, nothing. 

Somehow, Renjun can feel in his bones that the world is really ending any minute now. Maybe it’s because the rumble of chaos outside gets louder, slipping through the cracks of Renjun’s poorly isolated dorm room, reminding him that the outside world is getting increasingly anxious as time is slowly ticking away.

Or maybe it’s just the panic in his chest growing with every passing minute, the raw fear of having to let go of Jaemin soon, a primal instinct telling him it’s really going to be over any minute now.

“Can I kiss you Renjun?” Jaemin asks, his voice breaking and he sounds so fragile, so scared that a part of Renjun aches to take away all those feelings of hurt. 

Renjun’s shaky hands find Jaemin’s face, cupping his cheeks gently, wiping away the tears with his thumbs as they caress his cheekbones. 

Even when he’s crying, Jaemin is still the most beautiful man in the world.

“Please-” he breathes out shakily, eyes flickering to Jaemin’s lips, chapped from anxiously biting them. Renjun remembers how he always carried a lip balm with him for that exact reason. There still is one in the pocket of his coat right now but it’s too far away to get it now, Renjun doubted he’d make it across his dorm and back in time. “Please kiss me Jaemin.”

And so Jaemin does, he leans in closer, gently capturing Renjun’s lips with his own. The kiss is far from perfect, a little salty with tears and they’re both trembling at this point but somehow it still is everything.

Renjun tastes the mint tea on Jaemin’s lips and he’s certain, he’s home.

It’s the last thing he registers before the world crashes and burns around them but it’s okay, Renjun isn’t as scared anymore, not when he has his whole universe between his hands. 

There is no hurt, no suffering, it all just ends like that, in the blink of an eye, like the world never really existed at al

At least Renjun can say he died without any regrets.

**Author's Note:**

> This is part ventfic part me having listened to nothing but Onewe's Parting for the past month but I hope that whoever read up until this point enjoyed it at least. I write fics very sporadically but if you want to, for some reason, reach out to me you can find me on twt/cc both under colorskun!


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